Sunday, June 27, 2004
Well in just over an hour my little man will be 7.... This time 7 yrs ago I had spent the night in slight discomfort while they induced labor, I had my water broken at approx 5 am and the pitocin started... By 7 am I was asking for the epidural - not because I was in pain but I was getting uncomfortable, what a wimp I am! By 7:30 I had my epi and while I was painfree for the most part I was still experiencing discomfort from Deven's head wedging into my pelvis... Of course I was still at 4 cm by noon, 16 hrs after they started inducing me w/gel... So the decision was made to do a C-section and I was to be in the OR by 1:30... About this time my doc starts getting a bit miffed I am still in a labor room... By 2:30 he will have started to disconnect my tubes, etc and wheel me into the OR himself... He'll start the C btwn 10 and 5 til 3 and at 3:02pm Deven makes his entrance into the world - skin to skin my C takes no more then 15 min - a record I think... Deven is most beautiful little guy I have ever seen and worth every min of anything I had to go thru to have him in my life... I still can't believe it's been 7 yrs that I have been blessed w/such a wonderful and charming little guy - I wouldn't change him for the world and love him w/all my heart... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEVEN!!! May the world alwasy be a treasure to you and all your dreams realized! Love, Momma
Til next time...
Til next time...
Saturday, June 26, 2004
7 years ago
7 years ago today I was frantically finishing up laundry and cleaning... I was folding and setting out tiny little onesies, diapers and blankets... In a matter of 2 days I had managed to wash, fold and put away/set out almost every stitch of clothing we had in the apartment, scrubbed floors and walls, scoured the bathroom, straightened up the bedroom, etc... The only thing I didn't do was the sink piled w/dishes... It was a very very busy 2 days for me and at 6:30pm I was checking into the hospital to be induced... I still can't believe that my baby will be 7 tomorrow - how the time has flown... More on Dev's birth tomorrow.... Til next time...
7 years ago today I was frantically finishing up laundry and cleaning... I was folding and setting out tiny little onesies, diapers and blankets... In a matter of 2 days I had managed to wash, fold and put away/set out almost every stitch of clothing we had in the apartment, scrubbed floors and walls, scoured the bathroom, straightened up the bedroom, etc... The only thing I didn't do was the sink piled w/dishes... It was a very very busy 2 days for me and at 6:30pm I was checking into the hospital to be induced... I still can't believe that my baby will be 7 tomorrow - how the time has flown... More on Dev's birth tomorrow.... Til next time...
Friday, June 25, 2004
Ok - just a quick update - still dealing w/the emotional issues of my life but am doing ok, getting thru each day one at a time...
Tues night I took the boys to the annual SOLDIER SHOW here on base... it's a great thing to watch - a group of young, talented soldiers that tour around and put on a musical... The boys really liked it although it was a bit long for them... Afterwards they all stood outside the theater and shook hands - the boys got autographs in their programs... Deven got 4, he didn't want any more, Dilen got EVERY SOLDIER and was THRILLED!!! And I have to say I was so proud of my oldest - he made comments like "Dilen is lucky - he got alot of autographs"... I could see part of his motivation was to make Dilen feel special for the night... What I loved besides the wonderful show itself was that the boys saw that you can be a soldier - serve your country and help to defend freedom AND have fun singing and dancing... Hmmmm we shall see....
Wednesday Deven met w/his therapist for the 1st time... It was a good meeting - they will meet 2 or 3 more times to establish a rapport before school starts again as that will be when we will really need the therapist... Then we went to Hurricane Harbor/Six Flags for the afternoon and had a wonderful day!! As we were floating around the lazy river Dilen told me "This is the bestest day ever!"... I loved it!!
Thursday morning Dilen was tested for Kindi admission... I think it went well - we will know a verbal yeah or nay by Monday so that we will know whether or not to continue w/the testing and evaluating thru the preschool system for special ed services or not... If he makes it in we will talk about whether or not to test or give Kindi a shot for a month or so... Keep your fingers crossed cause I know he really wants to go to "big boy school" and I know my wallet would REALLY like a break as costs would literally be cut in half once Dilen is in regular school...
Not too much else happening right now... I really need to do some reading and news watching and catch up on current affairs - maybe this weekend when the office slow... Til next time...
Tues night I took the boys to the annual SOLDIER SHOW here on base... it's a great thing to watch - a group of young, talented soldiers that tour around and put on a musical... The boys really liked it although it was a bit long for them... Afterwards they all stood outside the theater and shook hands - the boys got autographs in their programs... Deven got 4, he didn't want any more, Dilen got EVERY SOLDIER and was THRILLED!!! And I have to say I was so proud of my oldest - he made comments like "Dilen is lucky - he got alot of autographs"... I could see part of his motivation was to make Dilen feel special for the night... What I loved besides the wonderful show itself was that the boys saw that you can be a soldier - serve your country and help to defend freedom AND have fun singing and dancing... Hmmmm we shall see....
Wednesday Deven met w/his therapist for the 1st time... It was a good meeting - they will meet 2 or 3 more times to establish a rapport before school starts again as that will be when we will really need the therapist... Then we went to Hurricane Harbor/Six Flags for the afternoon and had a wonderful day!! As we were floating around the lazy river Dilen told me "This is the bestest day ever!"... I loved it!!
Thursday morning Dilen was tested for Kindi admission... I think it went well - we will know a verbal yeah or nay by Monday so that we will know whether or not to continue w/the testing and evaluating thru the preschool system for special ed services or not... If he makes it in we will talk about whether or not to test or give Kindi a shot for a month or so... Keep your fingers crossed cause I know he really wants to go to "big boy school" and I know my wallet would REALLY like a break as costs would literally be cut in half once Dilen is in regular school...
Not too much else happening right now... I really need to do some reading and news watching and catch up on current affairs - maybe this weekend when the office slow... Til next time...
Sunday, June 20, 2004
It's been a very emotional week for me... The reality of divorce and the woe is me, pity party - table for one attitude has settled itself firmly on my shoulders... I won't bother to bore you all w/the details but suffice to say that my heart is breaking but I guess I need to grieve so that I can heal and move on... Most of it is that I thought I was ready, I thought I had dealt w/everything but I haven't...
The boys have been good this week... Deven was very ill from last Sat thru Weds w/a high fever and sinus infection but he finally bounced back Weds during the day and was able to go to school Thurs and Fri for his last 2 full days of school... Now he only has 2 half days to go... My baby is gonna be a second grader - he got to meet his new teacher and see his new room and he seemed to like it...
Dilen just amazes me constantly w/his knowledge, wit and wisdom - so astonishing from a 4 yo... Since the boys are going to summer camp at the same place Dilen attends preschool they will hold his "graduation" at the end of the summer when he really will be leaving for big boy school... And speaking of big boy school - Dilen will be tested for Kindi on Thurs... Next week he will start the IEP testing w/the school system... Wish us luck...
In other news - HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!! and my heart and prayers to the family of Paul Johnson.... I haven't been up on the news much otherwise but I will be checking/catching up this week.... Well it's off to finish my paperwork here and then head home... Til next time...
The boys have been good this week... Deven was very ill from last Sat thru Weds w/a high fever and sinus infection but he finally bounced back Weds during the day and was able to go to school Thurs and Fri for his last 2 full days of school... Now he only has 2 half days to go... My baby is gonna be a second grader - he got to meet his new teacher and see his new room and he seemed to like it...
Dilen just amazes me constantly w/his knowledge, wit and wisdom - so astonishing from a 4 yo... Since the boys are going to summer camp at the same place Dilen attends preschool they will hold his "graduation" at the end of the summer when he really will be leaving for big boy school... And speaking of big boy school - Dilen will be tested for Kindi on Thurs... Next week he will start the IEP testing w/the school system... Wish us luck...
In other news - HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!! and my heart and prayers to the family of Paul Johnson.... I haven't been up on the news much otherwise but I will be checking/catching up this week.... Well it's off to finish my paperwork here and then head home... Til next time...
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Busy busy busy - seems that is how my life is lately - and at the end of the day I am exhausted... First can someone PLEASE tell me how to manage to get my 4.5 yo to STOP talking??? I swear the boy chatters from the time he wakes til the time he finally crashes at the end of the day, barely stopping to take a breath!!!
2nd - Work has been a little interesting - had a shouting match w/one of the guys here - amazing isn't that when you don't get along with ONE or maybe 2 people that suddenly you are branded difficult, bossy, dominating and hard to work with!! UGH!!! It was all over the fact I left work for the swing girl to log into the database because I had been busy with other things during the day - next thing I know 3 days in a row he's leaving having the swing girl leave the shredding for me to add to my long list of crap I do each day - NOT!!!! Then of course the woman I had problems with back in Feb/Mar puts her nose in it and I just KNOW she went to the new boss and whispered all sorts of things about me - YES I AM paranoid but I guess that is what keeps you on your toes...
3rd - I met w/a new therapist for Deven... he seems good/nice - we shall see - Deven will meet him for the first time on the 23rd... He is gonna meet w/Deven for 3 visits and see where we go from there... He doesn't want to commit to long term counceling if Deven doens't need or won't benefit from it... OMG a doc that DOESN"T want to milk me for every last penny?? Did I die and go to heaven???
4th - I spoke w/Dev's teacher for next year on the phone briefly - she says she's familiar w/bipolar children and sounds very positive... She will meet with Deven next week one day and take him to see his new room... And in Aug when she is in her room setting up I am free to call and stop in to meet her myself.... I suggested to her that she read or atleast browse THE BIPOLAR CHILD as the first chapter is Deven on paper - she was actually very open to the idea.. asked me about the author, etc... I think next year will be a good year.... Plus we have started Deven on Risperdol and it seems to be going well so far... But my poor little Mr Fuzzy Wiggle is home sick today... His head hurts so much he's crying and miserable and he's running warm... I hate when the boys get sick - makes me feel so helpless...
Well this weekend is Armed Forces Weekend on the base.. I will be volunteering my time as the EMT on duty for a few hours here and there during my shift so I will get outside for a bit each day... They cancelled all festivities yesterday in respect and observance of the national day of mourning for Pres. Reagan... But we have 2 more days to enjoy ourselves... Hopefully Deven will be up to going over for a bit this evening...
Not too much else going on... Love life is sucky and the finances are tight but the bills are paid and for the most part we are happy.... More tomorrow... Til next time...
2nd - Work has been a little interesting - had a shouting match w/one of the guys here - amazing isn't that when you don't get along with ONE or maybe 2 people that suddenly you are branded difficult, bossy, dominating and hard to work with!! UGH!!! It was all over the fact I left work for the swing girl to log into the database because I had been busy with other things during the day - next thing I know 3 days in a row he's leaving having the swing girl leave the shredding for me to add to my long list of crap I do each day - NOT!!!! Then of course the woman I had problems with back in Feb/Mar puts her nose in it and I just KNOW she went to the new boss and whispered all sorts of things about me - YES I AM paranoid but I guess that is what keeps you on your toes...
3rd - I met w/a new therapist for Deven... he seems good/nice - we shall see - Deven will meet him for the first time on the 23rd... He is gonna meet w/Deven for 3 visits and see where we go from there... He doesn't want to commit to long term counceling if Deven doens't need or won't benefit from it... OMG a doc that DOESN"T want to milk me for every last penny?? Did I die and go to heaven???
4th - I spoke w/Dev's teacher for next year on the phone briefly - she says she's familiar w/bipolar children and sounds very positive... She will meet with Deven next week one day and take him to see his new room... And in Aug when she is in her room setting up I am free to call and stop in to meet her myself.... I suggested to her that she read or atleast browse THE BIPOLAR CHILD as the first chapter is Deven on paper - she was actually very open to the idea.. asked me about the author, etc... I think next year will be a good year.... Plus we have started Deven on Risperdol and it seems to be going well so far... But my poor little Mr Fuzzy Wiggle is home sick today... His head hurts so much he's crying and miserable and he's running warm... I hate when the boys get sick - makes me feel so helpless...
Well this weekend is Armed Forces Weekend on the base.. I will be volunteering my time as the EMT on duty for a few hours here and there during my shift so I will get outside for a bit each day... They cancelled all festivities yesterday in respect and observance of the national day of mourning for Pres. Reagan... But we have 2 more days to enjoy ourselves... Hopefully Deven will be up to going over for a bit this evening...
Not too much else going on... Love life is sucky and the finances are tight but the bills are paid and for the most part we are happy.... More tomorrow... Til next time...
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
6 MONTHS
Today is my 6 month anniversary of freedom.... Things are different for sure... The boys are alot of work but not much more then they were before... I struggle w/the bills but not too much - overall I am doing ok financially, yeah we don't splurge on things we used to and there are things I have had to put off buying for a bit but we are still ok... And the boys are learning that the bills and maintaining the house, having food, etc are more important then that cool toys that they think they NEED... But the part that has changed the most is that I get lonely... Yes I have someone I talk to regularly... 2 someones actually - one I am more into then the other but I am not in a relationship with either... not a relationship relationship so I miss the companionship of a steady relationship... I miss being able to reach out and touch "someone" regularly... and ok I miss sex!! *L* Well not too much but I miss having it regularly... ANYWAY!! Here's to 6 months along a wonderful new road that has proven to be more interesting and smooth than I imagined!!! I look forward to many more months and years of life getting better and better!!! Til next time...
Today is my 6 month anniversary of freedom.... Things are different for sure... The boys are alot of work but not much more then they were before... I struggle w/the bills but not too much - overall I am doing ok financially, yeah we don't splurge on things we used to and there are things I have had to put off buying for a bit but we are still ok... And the boys are learning that the bills and maintaining the house, having food, etc are more important then that cool toys that they think they NEED... But the part that has changed the most is that I get lonely... Yes I have someone I talk to regularly... 2 someones actually - one I am more into then the other but I am not in a relationship with either... not a relationship relationship so I miss the companionship of a steady relationship... I miss being able to reach out and touch "someone" regularly... and ok I miss sex!! *L* Well not too much but I miss having it regularly... ANYWAY!! Here's to 6 months along a wonderful new road that has proven to be more interesting and smooth than I imagined!!! I look forward to many more months and years of life getting better and better!!! Til next time...
Monday, June 07, 2004
ARRRRRGGGGGG
Today was just one of those days were it seems that NOTHING goes right!!! First I forgot Deven had a field trip and needed a bagged lunch so we had to rush to get ready and I ran the boys to school stopping at 7/11 for a lunchable after dropping off Dilen... Then I get to work, talk to boss briefly and leave for a doc appt - got a little misplaced but made it to doc's off less then 15 min after the appt - good time considering I got misplaced... Well I sat there for over 50 min and the doc had come out, took in another patient and I was not even acknowledged... Finally I had enough and decided I was going to find another doc if this is how patients are treated - I mean NO ONE even talked to me... So I get back to the office and I am there maybe 5 min and the phone rings... It's the doc calling to confirm my appt for TOMORROW!!! UGH!!!! Then I was just busy busy all day and I had about 16 things that had come in between 5pm yesterday and 5 pm today that I didn't get logged into the database because I was doing other things so I left them for the swing shift girl... Well the swing chief comes in and we end up arguing about why I didn't do this and that, etc etc... Needless to say I am pissed... I even told the guy I have covered HIS ass for 2 years why not every else and why not look at all I HAVE done daily instead of harassing me about today... Then a bit later I went in to our boss and told him... He said he heard it all and not to worry about it... *whew* It just really pisses me off - this is the same guy that was trying to "monitor" my time last year when he had NO RIGHT or reason for it... Some days he really just rubs me the wrong way... ARRGGGGGGGG So now that I am all stressed and wound up I think I am going to change and go out for a bike ride for a bit.... Til next time...
PS... Seems that the Fed Govt will be closed on Friday - except of course "mission essential" personnel so yet again I am getting screwed out of time unless they decide to treat it like a holiday and give us double pay... which I doubt although some of the contractors will get it!! I am hoping that it seems we will be screwed that our new boss will find a way to compensate us w/time off later... Just seems unfair that while everyone else will get to mourn and watch the funeral at home in private some of us will have to go to the office as if it's just another day.. they do this all the time when there is a snow closing or we get a 2 hr release for a holiday, etc - if the EOC is working we are screwed... Just figures that it's always ME at the short end of the stick!!! Oh well such is life I guess...
Today was just one of those days were it seems that NOTHING goes right!!! First I forgot Deven had a field trip and needed a bagged lunch so we had to rush to get ready and I ran the boys to school stopping at 7/11 for a lunchable after dropping off Dilen... Then I get to work, talk to boss briefly and leave for a doc appt - got a little misplaced but made it to doc's off less then 15 min after the appt - good time considering I got misplaced... Well I sat there for over 50 min and the doc had come out, took in another patient and I was not even acknowledged... Finally I had enough and decided I was going to find another doc if this is how patients are treated - I mean NO ONE even talked to me... So I get back to the office and I am there maybe 5 min and the phone rings... It's the doc calling to confirm my appt for TOMORROW!!! UGH!!!! Then I was just busy busy all day and I had about 16 things that had come in between 5pm yesterday and 5 pm today that I didn't get logged into the database because I was doing other things so I left them for the swing shift girl... Well the swing chief comes in and we end up arguing about why I didn't do this and that, etc etc... Needless to say I am pissed... I even told the guy I have covered HIS ass for 2 years why not every else and why not look at all I HAVE done daily instead of harassing me about today... Then a bit later I went in to our boss and told him... He said he heard it all and not to worry about it... *whew* It just really pisses me off - this is the same guy that was trying to "monitor" my time last year when he had NO RIGHT or reason for it... Some days he really just rubs me the wrong way... ARRGGGGGGGG So now that I am all stressed and wound up I think I am going to change and go out for a bike ride for a bit.... Til next time...
PS... Seems that the Fed Govt will be closed on Friday - except of course "mission essential" personnel so yet again I am getting screwed out of time unless they decide to treat it like a holiday and give us double pay... which I doubt although some of the contractors will get it!! I am hoping that it seems we will be screwed that our new boss will find a way to compensate us w/time off later... Just seems unfair that while everyone else will get to mourn and watch the funeral at home in private some of us will have to go to the office as if it's just another day.. they do this all the time when there is a snow closing or we get a 2 hr release for a holiday, etc - if the EOC is working we are screwed... Just figures that it's always ME at the short end of the stick!!! Oh well such is life I guess...
Saturday, June 05, 2004
It's a sad day in the world... Ronald Reagan Dies at 93 and The World Mourns
Then Smarty Fails to win Triple Crown
Of course overshadowing it all Two more soldiers die in Iraq and yesterday Two Boys from my home state
Tomorrow will be a somber day for everyone I think... Til next time...
Then Smarty Fails to win Triple Crown
Of course overshadowing it all Two more soldiers die in Iraq and yesterday Two Boys from my home state
Tomorrow will be a somber day for everyone I think... Til next time...
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Well work is still busier then a one legged man in an ass kicking contest but atleast the time flies by....
The boys and I went to the fair on Sunday and had a blast although I am now broke but we had fun... There is another fair on base next weekend... I am looking forward to that because I can bring the boys home and go back over to the beer tent for some adult time!!!!
SLOWLY getting the yard in shape - I'll try to get pics taken so I will have some before and after pics... I have lots I want to do and no time to really get it done... Not too much else other then a very slight case of poison ivy from the back of the house that is driving me insane w/the itching.. I am highly allergic to PI and surprised I didn't break out more then the couple of little spots I did but man I itch itch itch... Well it's off to bed as the boys are asleep... Til next time...
The boys and I went to the fair on Sunday and had a blast although I am now broke but we had fun... There is another fair on base next weekend... I am looking forward to that because I can bring the boys home and go back over to the beer tent for some adult time!!!!
SLOWLY getting the yard in shape - I'll try to get pics taken so I will have some before and after pics... I have lots I want to do and no time to really get it done... Not too much else other then a very slight case of poison ivy from the back of the house that is driving me insane w/the itching.. I am highly allergic to PI and surprised I didn't break out more then the couple of little spots I did but man I itch itch itch... Well it's off to bed as the boys are asleep... Til next time...
